dogs, family

Loyalty

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Why do we love dogs?

“Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed
   Beauty without Vanity,
     Strength without Insolence,
       Courage without Ferocity, and
         all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices. 

This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog.”
 
  ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog

No matter how ugly or messy or grumpy or tired I am I have a friend who would stay right on my feet every day of the year if she had that choice.

Her name is Roxy!

For me a dog is the best communicator and a great therapist. We rarely need to speak and we can communicate with eye contact and touching. I never doubt her motive, I never question her honesty, I am not manipulated or fooled… she is a loyal and devoted friend. She has no expectations and is grateful for every scrap of fondness.

Roxy is now almost 7 months old. Time for her training and social classes are due but she already knows sit, and trust, and she LOVES to see her park/walk friends when we are out for a constitutional.

Pets really are special but I have had a dog for my whole life and I loved each and every one of them:
– Toby, Black Lab
– Jessie, Mutt (seeminly Border Collie and a curly-hair breed)
  (who uncannily resembled Roxy)
– Parker, Beagle
– Clancy, Samoyed
– Roxy, Mutt (Australian Shepherd x Golden Retreiver)

And if you are wondering how the boys feel about the puppy… you can likely imagine a heap of bodies on the family room floor – full of giggles and “ewww, she kissed me on the mouth” and her tail sticking out, and then scrambling boys attempting to escape her affection.

Dogs and kids are a nice pair…
                                                                       …sorta



Thank you Aunt Arlene for sharing this cartoon. Credits to the original artist.


Be well,

Jen

brain injury, hope, inspiration, recover, recovery

Mindfulness

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Guess what! Despite my reduced abilities, my mind is still bright and shiny and beautiful and able! It really is. I spoke to my mind and my body (more accurately… I LISTENED to my mind and my body) this morning during an exceptional period of guided mindfulness in a rehabilitation session.

  • When was the last time you sat in silence?
  • Have you ever meditated?
  • Do you check in with the parts of your body?
  • Are you aware of every sense’s contribution to the most simple moments?

I would have said No to each of those before this morning but now I will do this as often as possible.

Mermaid me in another place and time

With the benefit of silence and calm and relaxation this morning I saw my brain swim and soar and twirl and circle playfully, pause reflectively and consider things as I always was able. Agile and adaptable and brilliant. Like a beautiful movie in the beautiful sea… 

And THEN it is time to talk about it or to verbalize it or even to define it and suddenly my beautiful movie stalls and stutters and skips frames. The image melts on the screen and my beautiful brain is ashamed and dismayed and looks away… A tear spills into that ocean. Perhaps that is how my ocean arrived… One tear at a time…

It hurts to struggle with the abilities I used to take for granted. It is a huge regret that I was not more thankful for it being so easy at the time.

But instead of living in that regret I have work to do to continue my regrowth. Everything happens for a reason. How can I grieve for a gift that I enjoyed while it was mine? It was not mine forever… only loaned to me. 

Perhaps on September 7, 2010 a new child was born and was gifted with that blessing – if I could find them, my silent gesture would be to tenderly touch their cheek and wish them joy and awareness of the depth of that gift.
Thank you for walking this far with me – even if we have never met I am grateful for your virtual presence – for this shared experience, and for feeling connected to the world beyond my Self. But please forgive me if me, myself, and I spend some quiet time to reconnect.

*smiles quietly*

Be well,

Jen

P.S.: A belated Happy Valentine’s Day with an affectionate tribute to my husband whose proposal was 12 years ago… And to my Brassavola Nodosa (a type of orchid) who brings me joy and beauty even in the middle of the night.

Brassavola Nodosa
brain injury, frustration, recovery, strength, stroke

Saying No

No thank you
I’d prefer not to
I regret that I can’t
Nope
Not at all
Never

That’s a powerful list. One that I rarely used.

I think most of us seek approval and to be liked. I certainly did. I wanted to exceed the expectations of my loved ones, and friends, and my workplace, and my volunteer organizations.

I very rarely said no to requests from those around me.

Interestingly, something had to give so I started to demote my household needs, my dog’s needs, my children’s needs, my husband’s needs, and ultimately – at the very bottom of a long list – was my own needs. I spent all of the time and energy I had available and then was left exhausted and flopped into bed.

Meh! Who cares, right? That’s normal and we are told every day to be fitter, wittier, quicker, more giving, more selfless, more hawt! But the reality is, we are only simple regular people and at some point it’s up to us to make our list of priorities and limit the investment we are prepared to make into them.

In my first series of rehabilitation sessions at the Bruyere Hospital I had to be trained to say “No.” I really mean that I had to learn it because I did… I even had to roleplay examples of requests and me saying no to them.

My therapist in that session would likely smirk and say that I learned and even told her no a few times by the end. *waves at Beverly my social work guru*

Anyway, just take a second and consider where you rank on your priority list. And even though it seems like it’s safe to demote our kids/spouse because they will always love us regardless – just remember that there is a point where you will realize all of the ways that you almost missed out on the most important people in our lives.

Two letters – one word – tremendous power: NO

Use it wisely but as often as you need to.

Be well,

Jen