Category Archives: stroke

brain injury, frustration, recovery, strength, stroke

Saying No

No thank you
I’d prefer not to
I regret that I can’t
Nope
Not at all
Never

That’s a powerful list. One that I rarely used.

I think most of us seek approval and to be liked. I certainly did. I wanted to exceed the expectations of my loved ones, and friends, and my workplace, and my volunteer organizations.

I very rarely said no to requests from those around me.

Interestingly, something had to give so I started to demote my household needs, my dog’s needs, my children’s needs, my husband’s needs, and ultimately – at the very bottom of a long list – was my own needs. I spent all of the time and energy I had available and then was left exhausted and flopped into bed.

Meh! Who cares, right? That’s normal and we are told every day to be fitter, wittier, quicker, more giving, more selfless, more hawt! But the reality is, we are only simple regular people and at some point it’s up to us to make our list of priorities and limit the investment we are prepared to make into them.

In my first series of rehabilitation sessions at the Bruyere Hospital I had to be trained to say “No.” I really mean that I had to learn it because I did… I even had to roleplay examples of requests and me saying no to them.

My therapist in that session would likely smirk and say that I learned and even told her no a few times by the end. *waves at Beverly my social work guru*

Anyway, just take a second and consider where you rank on your priority list. And even though it seems like it’s safe to demote our kids/spouse because they will always love us regardless – just remember that there is a point where you will realize all of the ways that you almost missed out on the most important people in our lives.

Two letters – one word – tremendous power: NO

Use it wisely but as often as you need to.

Be well,

Jen

creativity, inspiration, optimism, recovery, stroke

The Power of Humour

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I don’t think it matters who you are – or where you live – or what language you speak … there are a few things most of us have in common.

We like to be happy
We aim to be the best person we can be
We seek for our children to have the best we can offer
We love loving and being loved
We hope we wil not be forgotten, and
We appreciate a good laugh.

This week I have had my initial evaluation/assessment at the Acquired Brain Injury facility and I will be going there for an eight-week program that will assist my rehabilitation in Speech and Language, Occupational Therapy, Psychology and Social Work.

We are lucky to have access to such remarkable and dedicated professionals and I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to acknowledge the amazing teams of people who have helped me at the Civic Campus of the Ottawa Hospital and at the Bruyere Hospital. Nothing but the best to share of those two remarkable facilities. I am endebted to their professionalism and ability.

So, getting back to the Acquired Brain Injury facility, my assessments were Monday and Tuesday as well as a medical appointment on Friday. I filled in a questionnaire that asks me about a variety of issues that can be related to my injury. The meeting had been fairly standard and I was asked expected questions about my mood these days. My answer was that despite the challenges I face and the ordeal we have survived, I feel optimistic and positive about my life. I said that I saw it as an opportunity to re-evaluate my life course and to dream of new paths in life that will suit my abilities/disabilities. There was a brief silence as the Doctor nodded and then he made me laugh.

He said that the thing is… my “life” was taken from me on September 7 when I had a stroke and my life has not been restored in the way it was. I nodded. He said that there would be no way to expect that you can live through that without feeling frustrated, angry, confused, or cheated. He said something along the lines of (roughly parahrasing) I would like to be an optimist but I’m not that good… the reality is that this whole situation sucks.

I laughed right out loud and appreciated the candor and humour very much. He’s right in a lot of ways… it does suck and my life is frustratingly similar and yet so different. And in addition to physical trauma and cognitive/neurological damage it has been an absolutely crappy assignment of paperwork and insurance forms etc etc etc

So to hear his comment, I still smile and nod. It really does suck. But when I get tugged into that hole I consider the thousands of ways that it could be worse.

But on the days I can’t focus on the thousands of worse things I like to have a really good laugh – maybe you will have some of those too …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aAtFrWft2k

Be well,

Jen

family, memories, recovery, stroke

In and Out, Round and Round, Upside Down and Back

I remember as a little girl dreaming big dreams. Recently, I shared with a dear friend that I used to want to be a ballerina, and a prosecuting attorney, and a teacher, and an astronaut and the Prime Minister of Canada (yes, all at the same time).

But my dreams didn’t end as I aged. When I was in my early 20s I recall feeling certain that if I flapped my wings hard enough I would fly. At night, I would dream of soaring high in the sky – sun and wind and nothing but the open horizon … and the freedom of life.
 
Then, around the time that I spread my wings and left my parent’s safe nest, life was complicated with terrible experiences in so many ways. Despite the protection, love and care of parents, life eventually taps on everyone’s shoulder with a sucker punch. That said, you too have likely suffered your own scars or bruises and I am always grateful for my blessings – mindful that no matter what challenges I have faced in this world, there are those who face worse every day. Today, I think in particular of those who are sick, or lost, or at the mercy of the world with a nation nothing like Canada to carefully provide for them as much as possible.

Interestingly, my dreams have recently returned to vivid and colourful experiences very joyful and similar to my youth. If no more is possible, I wish colourful and joyful dreams for those who suffer.

—————–

Okay so for those who are following my stroke recovery, my latest challenge has been my incision’s very poor progress to heal. This week I was started on antibiotics to ensure that I don’t have an infection in the vicinity of my brain surgery. Of course you may recall that the surgery was September 8, 2010 and we are soon approaching five months. My antibiotic should be helpful but I am being cautious not to expose myself to any unnecessary viruses.

In INR news… my INR skyrocketed to 3.9 just over a month ago and then plummetted to 1.4 a few weeks ago. This week it was 2.4 so my thrombosis team is pleased with that result but they expect my antibiotic to destabilize my INR levels again… luckily, I have the best medical assistance and I have become quite fond of the woman I spend so much time with giving her a vial of my blood once a week (*waves* Hi Sophie).

Time for a rest … but … if your birthday is today (and you know who you are) I send out a birthday wish and much love for the coming year with wisdom, peace and good health.

Jen

My youngest son’s Get Well card art