Category Archives: memories

Memories

  • The black iron railing on the concrete steps outside of our first home in Quebec
  • “Dog Patrol” a near-daily excursion as Dad would peddle me around on the back of his bike looking for doggies that I could pet
  • Washing dishes standing on a chair in the kitchen next to my Mom
  • My new baby brother coming home
  • Noticing that he was “broken” between his legs while I assisted Mom with a diaper change
  • My first amazing experience at school with my Junior Kindergarten Teacher (Mrs. Rheaume, I still think of you often)
  • Recording our voice and our home family movies
  • Learning to debate at school
  • Perfecting how to debate at the dinner table
  • Years of summertime joy and crushes and sunburns
  • First kiss
  • Never wanting to see that guy again… good thing he won’t know I mean him
  • Writing my first poem
  • Dancing in my bedroom
  • Transcribing lyrics from radio music
  • Losing my Nanny (maternal and only grandparent)
  • My first bra
  • My first heartbreak
  • Painting
  • First “first date”
  • First “last date”
  • First act of citizenship: I vote
  • Being elected at my high school
  • Graduation
  • An abusive relationship
  • University … a procrastinator’s heaven and hell
  • Pride + Kraft Dinner VS Logic + Asking for money
    (if you know me, you know which I picked… despite not having any milk)
  • Illness and close brushes with despair
  • Family love and how the extended family reinforces the troops regardless of the problem, the timing, or the need
  • The power of a loved one’s beautiful baby girl
  • Smugly taking a job in broadcasting which surely meant that I didn’t need the degree
  • A star named after me
  • Understanding how much that really meant
  • Meeting the son of my parents’ friends “just for coffee”
  • Long distance love in denial
  • Dropping to my knees in front of him and saying yes
  • Moving (for the thousandth time)
  • Marrying
  • Moving #1001 – but thankfully moving to the “M” section in people’s address books instead of the “V”
  • Making babies – the easy part AND the hard part
  • New life all around
  • The beauty of someone else’s wedding
  • Learning what to control and what you cannot control
  • Mom’s life ebbing away
  • Recovery from loss
  • Needing to be loved
  • Losing weeks of my life – a small price to pay because I had never had the chance to say “goodbye, how I love you”
  • Rebirth with my artificial umbilical cords
  • Learning to walk again and to read and write
  • Feeling fear often
  • My brother, husband and father never leaving my side
  • Reaching back to my husband
  • Deciding to act the way I felt people wanted me to be
  • Changing that decision!
  • Making true friends recovering with them in the hospital for more than two months
  • Learning many ways to measure distance (inches, kilometers, aeons)
  • Remarking which friends have stayed… regardless of my quiet
     *smiling at you with gratitude*
  • My sons sharing the experience of being with Mom on the floor (ferociously proud of them now and forever – unless they have behaved unethically or unlawfully you’d be best to complain to someone else)
  • My husband carrying his own weight and far too much of mine
  • Every one of my stroke steps…

And today?
Another year older!!! Ack!!!

Be well

Jen

In and Out, Round and Round, Upside Down and Back

I remember as a little girl dreaming big dreams. Recently, I shared with a dear friend that I used to want to be a ballerina, and a prosecuting attorney, and a teacher, and an astronaut and the Prime Minister of Canada (yes, all at the same time).

But my dreams didn’t end as I aged. When I was in my early 20s I recall feeling certain that if I flapped my wings hard enough I would fly. At night, I would dream of soaring high in the sky – sun and wind and nothing but the open horizon … and the freedom of life.
 
Then, around the time that I spread my wings and left my parent’s safe nest, life was complicated with terrible experiences in so many ways. Despite the protection, love and care of parents, life eventually taps on everyone’s shoulder with a sucker punch. That said, you too have likely suffered your own scars or bruises and I am always grateful for my blessings – mindful that no matter what challenges I have faced in this world, there are those who face worse every day. Today, I think in particular of those who are sick, or lost, or at the mercy of the world with a nation nothing like Canada to carefully provide for them as much as possible.

Interestingly, my dreams have recently returned to vivid and colourful experiences very joyful and similar to my youth. If no more is possible, I wish colourful and joyful dreams for those who suffer.

—————–

Okay so for those who are following my stroke recovery, my latest challenge has been my incision’s very poor progress to heal. This week I was started on antibiotics to ensure that I don’t have an infection in the vicinity of my brain surgery. Of course you may recall that the surgery was September 8, 2010 and we are soon approaching five months. My antibiotic should be helpful but I am being cautious not to expose myself to any unnecessary viruses.

In INR news… my INR skyrocketed to 3.9 just over a month ago and then plummetted to 1.4 a few weeks ago. This week it was 2.4 so my thrombosis team is pleased with that result but they expect my antibiotic to destabilize my INR levels again… luckily, I have the best medical assistance and I have become quite fond of the woman I spend so much time with giving her a vial of my blood once a week (*waves* Hi Sophie).

Time for a rest … but … if your birthday is today (and you know who you are) I send out a birthday wish and much love for the coming year with wisdom, peace and good health.

Jen

My youngest son’s Get Well card art