Category Archives: creativity

creativity, inspiration, optimism, recovery, stroke

The Power of Humour

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I don’t think it matters who you are – or where you live – or what language you speak … there are a few things most of us have in common.

We like to be happy
We aim to be the best person we can be
We seek for our children to have the best we can offer
We love loving and being loved
We hope we wil not be forgotten, and
We appreciate a good laugh.

This week I have had my initial evaluation/assessment at the Acquired Brain Injury facility and I will be going there for an eight-week program that will assist my rehabilitation in Speech and Language, Occupational Therapy, Psychology and Social Work.

We are lucky to have access to such remarkable and dedicated professionals and I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to acknowledge the amazing teams of people who have helped me at the Civic Campus of the Ottawa Hospital and at the Bruyere Hospital. Nothing but the best to share of those two remarkable facilities. I am endebted to their professionalism and ability.

So, getting back to the Acquired Brain Injury facility, my assessments were Monday and Tuesday as well as a medical appointment on Friday. I filled in a questionnaire that asks me about a variety of issues that can be related to my injury. The meeting had been fairly standard and I was asked expected questions about my mood these days. My answer was that despite the challenges I face and the ordeal we have survived, I feel optimistic and positive about my life. I said that I saw it as an opportunity to re-evaluate my life course and to dream of new paths in life that will suit my abilities/disabilities. There was a brief silence as the Doctor nodded and then he made me laugh.

He said that the thing is… my “life” was taken from me on September 7 when I had a stroke and my life has not been restored in the way it was. I nodded. He said that there would be no way to expect that you can live through that without feeling frustrated, angry, confused, or cheated. He said something along the lines of (roughly parahrasing) I would like to be an optimist but I’m not that good… the reality is that this whole situation sucks.

I laughed right out loud and appreciated the candor and humour very much. He’s right in a lot of ways… it does suck and my life is frustratingly similar and yet so different. And in addition to physical trauma and cognitive/neurological damage it has been an absolutely crappy assignment of paperwork and insurance forms etc etc etc

So to hear his comment, I still smile and nod. It really does suck. But when I get tugged into that hole I consider the thousands of ways that it could be worse.

But on the days I can’t focus on the thousands of worse things I like to have a really good laugh – maybe you will have some of those too …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aAtFrWft2k

Be well,

Jen

creativity, hope, online, recovery, strength, stroke

A New Year and a return to the keyboard

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First of all Happy New Year to you all… and it was so nice to begin this project but as you can see, the holiday season and the pressures of recovery took me away from writing to you.

Know that I am still taking it one step at a time.  🙂

For today’s posting I am going to share the contents of an e-mail I sent to the Acquired Brain Injury clinic where I will soon be going for assistance with rehabilitation…

They asked for input into my areas of challenge. Here is my response:

“My problem areas are very clear to me:
  • I cannot manage telephone calls (too difficult to word find in addition to listening to a phone conversation – seems easier when I am face-to-face with someone). If on the phone I require to take notes or I will not be able to recollect the conversation. I also have to cover my eyes and plug the free ear so that all my focus can be with the phone.
  • I cannot manage distractions at all. I have had to ask the boys to line up to speak to me and if the dog barks or phone rings or I am trying to type something there is no room for anything else at all. When there is alot of stimulation I feel panicky and lost. It also makes me irrationally angry.
  • I cannot watch TV due to jumpy edits and rapid or frenetic content and I need silence to concentrate on anything (on a good day music can be tolerated). I have seen a movie with my Dad and enjoyed it very much so that was nice.
  • I cannot read due to distraction and even in silence I have to reread paragraphs many times to ensure that i can remember it for a little while. Similarly to the telephone call, shielding my eyes and blocking my ears helps to some degree.
  • I have a great deal of memory problems (short term and long term). My husband will have to tell me occasionally that we have already discussed something recently.
  • my visual memory is much better than recall for oral or e-mail conversations so i may not think i have been somewhere but when i see it I can recall it
  • I have many word finding challenges and work hard at it with strangers etc but am at ease with my family so I just say stupid things to them like asking them to clear the table put their doors (not dishes) in the dishwasher. We all laugh but it happens alot as the day moves along.”
So… what else is new?
In the interim including Christmas and New Years, I had an MRI, weekly blood work and other health care appointments. For those of you who understand INR (my weekly blood work) I am not yet stabilized. Last week I was down to 1.4 whereas a few weeks ago I hit 3.9 (the “safe range” goal is between 2 – 3). The number refers to the number of seconds my blood takes to clot. Too short is a risk for blood clots and too long is a risk for internal bleeding.
At my MRI, I was told that we all have two major drainage veins from our brain, my hemorrhage was caused by a blockage on the left drain… the blockage is still there. I will have another MRI to see if it has cleared within six months, if not, I am advised that it will be unlikely to clear. I am not too worried about that as there is nothing anyone can do and I am still alive!!!  Anyway, there is still damage to the left side of my brain and my right side drainage vein is doing the work for both sides… (I will try to have the image scanned so you can see). The left side is entirely dark where the right side’s drainage is a lovely glowing white.   🙂
In addition to the medical side, we have had to cope with mortgage issues, banking challenges (by the way, our BMO advisor was an angel and has been helping us and advising us very well), employer paperwork, insurance updates, etc etc etc. None of this can be helped but it is a very draining process.
(I would also like to take this moment to thank my colleagues at Infrastructure Canada who sent me a most lovely gift basket with thoughtful treats. I miss you guys too!) 
*** there is a PS note below to others who will receive private notes ***
My incision from brain surgery has not yet entirely healed but my hair is growing in around the surgery area… in contrast, my anti-seizure medication is causing me to lose my hair so i have been lucky that it started off very thick. Time will tell… hope you would all still love me bald (although I am exaggerating and don’t think it will get to that point).
OK that’s all I can manage for today but I will do my best to get in here to see you all as often as possible.
Many hugs and kisses !!!
Silly time at my computer yields silly results

Jen

P.S. To the friends and loved ones who sent notes or cards or gifts, I will do my best to get back to you each individually in a private way… but for now, please know that it brings me to tears when I feel your love and support through this trying time. God Bless you all!