All posts by Jennifer V-M

creativity, inspiration, optimism, recovery, stroke

The Power of Humour

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I don’t think it matters who you are – or where you live – or what language you speak … there are a few things most of us have in common.

We like to be happy
We aim to be the best person we can be
We seek for our children to have the best we can offer
We love loving and being loved
We hope we wil not be forgotten, and
We appreciate a good laugh.

This week I have had my initial evaluation/assessment at the Acquired Brain Injury facility and I will be going there for an eight-week program that will assist my rehabilitation in Speech and Language, Occupational Therapy, Psychology and Social Work.

We are lucky to have access to such remarkable and dedicated professionals and I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to acknowledge the amazing teams of people who have helped me at the Civic Campus of the Ottawa Hospital and at the Bruyere Hospital. Nothing but the best to share of those two remarkable facilities. I am endebted to their professionalism and ability.

So, getting back to the Acquired Brain Injury facility, my assessments were Monday and Tuesday as well as a medical appointment on Friday. I filled in a questionnaire that asks me about a variety of issues that can be related to my injury. The meeting had been fairly standard and I was asked expected questions about my mood these days. My answer was that despite the challenges I face and the ordeal we have survived, I feel optimistic and positive about my life. I said that I saw it as an opportunity to re-evaluate my life course and to dream of new paths in life that will suit my abilities/disabilities. There was a brief silence as the Doctor nodded and then he made me laugh.

He said that the thing is… my “life” was taken from me on September 7 when I had a stroke and my life has not been restored in the way it was. I nodded. He said that there would be no way to expect that you can live through that without feeling frustrated, angry, confused, or cheated. He said something along the lines of (roughly parahrasing) I would like to be an optimist but I’m not that good… the reality is that this whole situation sucks.

I laughed right out loud and appreciated the candor and humour very much. He’s right in a lot of ways… it does suck and my life is frustratingly similar and yet so different. And in addition to physical trauma and cognitive/neurological damage it has been an absolutely crappy assignment of paperwork and insurance forms etc etc etc

So to hear his comment, I still smile and nod. It really does suck. But when I get tugged into that hole I consider the thousands of ways that it could be worse.

But on the days I can’t focus on the thousands of worse things I like to have a really good laugh – maybe you will have some of those too …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aAtFrWft2k

Be well,

Jen

frustration, inspiration, recovery, strength

Sphere of Influence

You cannot control

  • sunset / sunrise
  • others’ decisions
  • your loved ones’ lives
  • time moving forward
  • health surprises
  • history
  • people’s perception
  • nature
  • the rate your hair grows
  • your illness
  • the loss of a loved one
  • when the pen runs out of ink
  • the price of gas
  • the Faith of others
  • the rules of a game that others created
  • dogs’ preference for puking on a rug
  • the mysterious persistance of dust
  • your children’s dramas
  • how much you are needed

BUT

You can control

  • how you react
  • how you interpret
  • how you assert
  • how you love (yourself AND others)
  • how you sacrifice
  • how you refrain from judging
  • how you measure success
  • how you value silence
  • how you respect differences
  • how you care for your life
  • how you pick your battles 

Please add your items if you have others.

***I send love to a close family member who is today having surgery.***

Be well,

Jen

frustration, loss, recovery, sad

I miss sucking my thumb

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Good days and bad days … and I rarely am brave enough to share a bad day. On those days I just get quiet. Well I am learning to be stronger for myself and my own limitations… Here is a glimpse behind the curtain.

I find it hard to keep up with life some days. My house gets busy, the world can be loud, the tvs bring chaos and we all have needs.

I vaguely remember napping as a little girl. I miss it. Being on my Mom’s knee and sucking my thumb and finding comfort in the rhythm of her heartbeat. I miss her and I miss that phase of life. Remember being in the line-up for a cuddle with your parents? I do… and then we grow up and we love more and more and more.

Then suddenly your parent can’t hug you as often (but THANK YOU to my Daddy who is always ready for a hug) and you notice that the lineup waiting for you forms on the right and stretches for miles with hopeful, loving faces shining at you…

I am still so fortunate to have such wonderful people around me but like everyone else, sometimes I just need to curl up in a quiet space and suck my thumb and cuddle under a blanket while my head heals and I cope with my new self and my new limits.

Today, I spent my time getting my meds ready and sorted in the weekly dossette case, I planned a dinner for the family, I showered and dressed and I coped with a busy home, I will happily cook today… and yes, that is all I can manage today. If your e-mail in unanswered in my inbox all I ask is for patience. I still do feel guilty when I can’t please peole the way they deserve… that is hard.

And if, on the other hand, you too are recovering from your own stroke (of genius), you are not alone if you feel tired and lost and lonely sometimes. I think it happens to all of us. And my experience so far reassures me that tomorrow is always a bit brighter and as we get closer to Spring, the sun stays up longer for sure.

God Bless you all.

Jen

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
   ~ 1 Corinthians 13.11-13

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THE SCENE BEHIND THE CURTAIN:
There is music playing softly in the basement, children laughing as they play, a tv playing a cartoon, a friend is in chat telling me that they love me, my husband asks what is for dinner, the dog whines to go out for a pee.

OLD JEN: tells the chat friend to hang on, speculates about dinner options as she walks to the door and rewards the puppy as she lets it out and tries to think of the name of that song playing downstairs while she glances at the TV subconsciously evaluating appropriateness.

NEW JEN: can’t remember what food we have, feels overwhelmed and scared by the noises, tries to determine if the kids are making happy or unhappy sounds, shuts the chat window unexpectedly and cries.